‘Your fragile masculinity is costing us money’: Husband Denies Wife to Buy a Minivan Because It’s Too ‘Feminine,’ She Tells Him the Hard Truth

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    r/AITAH 2 days ago Practical-Drama-5549 AITA for telling my husband his "fragile masculinity" is costing us money?
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    Back in late 2021, my husband Craig (M46) and I (F44) welcomed our fourth child into the world. As a result, we needed to upgrade one of our cars to something larger. We decided to trade in my super reliable Toyota RAV4 for something bigger since I was the one who drove the kids around most often.
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    I was open and ready to embrace minivan life and was planning to buy something reliable and safe, like a Honda or Kia. But Craig had his heart set on an SUV; in his mind, minivans were "too feminine." So, against my better judgment, we ended up purchasing a used 2018 Mercedes GLS 450, mainly due to his insistence. He argued that this
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    car would offer similar space to the Kia/Honda minivans I wanted but with added luxury. Since it was priced like a loaded Honda van, we went ahead with it.
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    After two years, I can safely say we made the wrong choice. While the car does have good passenger space, it doesn't seem to have as much cargo room as those minivans. The reliability has been junk. The car has had 8. recalls during our ownership. Even when not recalled, it spends too much time at the dealership because something always seems
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    to be broken. Some repairs have been covered under warranty, but we've still shelled out over $9k (maintenance not included). The car hasn't even racked up that many miles. Below are just some of the annoyances:
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    Below are just some of the annoyances: • The shifting can be rough. . Sometimes, I press on the gas and the car barely moves, and when it does, it's jerky. • The shifting can be rough. Sometimes, I press on the gas and the car barely
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    moves, and when it does, it's jerky. • For the past few weeks, the check engine light has been turning on randomly. • Numerous electronic issues.
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    Since the car's problems have stepped up in the past few weeks, I'm beyond fed up. I don't feel safe driving it around with my kids and I've even started getting nightmares about it stranding us in the middle of nowhere. Craig always downplays this and claims that it's normal for the car to have some issues.
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    Making things worse somehow, Craig's sedan has started developing issues lately. It has begun to refuse to start some mornings and will sometimes shut itself off when it comes to a stop sign or red light.
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    On Saturday, I was supposed to drive our eldest to his soccer game and then take my younger kids to the doctor's office. When I turned on the Mercedes, it sounded very rough, the engine light was on, and the temperature reading was extremely wrong. I don't bother risking it and end up ubering with the kids.
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    I told Craig about it that night. He listened at first, but when I suggested selling it, he cut me off and said that he wasn't getting a van just because I wanted that. It was so combative and defensive the way he said it, and because I was so tired from the day, I lashed out. We argued it got heated and I ended up saying "Your fragile masculinity is
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    costing our family so much money". In retrospect, maybe my tone was harsh, but he was being needlessly difficult. We haven't really spoken much since then. I'll also be ubering to work this week since I won't be touching that car.
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    AITA? Edit For those wondering about - the car's condition, I've included the picture I took of it on Saturday when I started it up. The engine light is on and it was saying the temperature was -12°F when it was really something like 60°F
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    Context For those wondering, - this isn't the first instance of his masculinity being threatened by something minor. He also refuses lip balm and purple dress shirts among other things.
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    shestammie • 2d ago I don't get it. You're the primary user of the proposed car and he has his own. Even if you give in and call the car "womanly" what's his insistence that his wife - presumably a woman - doesn't drive it?
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    Deep-Egg6601 • 2d ago Fellas is it gay to have a reliable vehicle You have my sympathy Good luck
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    matt_chowder • 2d ago I got 4 daughters, 17months-7 years old. We got a Toyota Sienna 2018, preowned certified. I drive that wayyyyyyyy more than my wife does. Your husband needs to get over himself
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    Unbelievable-27 • 2d ago If his masculinity is affected by the kind of car he drives, I think it's not the car that's the problem. He sounds desperately insecure.
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    DoubleDandelion • 2d ago Things your husband is scared of: -Mini Vans -Lip Balm -The color purple Yeah, he sounds super manly. NTA.
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    Pale Height 1251 • 2d ago NTA. The least masculine thing in the world is when a man says "But what if people don't think I'm masculine?!". Men confident in their masculinity don't give a

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